A few months ago I kept catching my reflection in the mirror and the way I look started weighing me down. It’s not like I had gained weight or aged ten years overnight, I’d just stopped putting effort into my appearance and I know that it eventually had a negative effect on my energy.
It had me wondering how to become more magnetic again, because I definitely wasn’t feeling it.
If you’ve ever had that moment where you catch yourself in the mirror and just feel off, I think you already know it’s not really about how you look. There’s something underneath that.
So I want to talk about magnetism, because I think it’s tied to this in a way people don’t expect. How to become more magnetic isn’t about being the most beautiful person in the room or having the perfect thing to say. It quieter than that. It’s something that you can’t “see” and it’s something you can actually build, which is what I want to walk through here.
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What I Learned Working in a Salon
I spent years working in a salons in Beverly Hills, and it was just kind of the culture there, your hair had to be done, your makeup had to be on, you dressed nicely every single day because you were basically walking around as an advertisement for the work you did.
I didn’t really question it at the time, it was just part of the job.
The Day I Stopped Wearing Makeup
There was this one day I was running late and exhausted and I just skipped my makeup. I walked into work and almost everyone asked if I was okay, like was I sick, did something happen.
I hated the way that made me feel so much. So the rebel in me was like, okay fine, I’m done. And when I eventually left the salon, I leaned all the way into that, workout clothes, leggings, barely any effort into how I looked. It felt like freedom at the time.
Redefining What Effort Looks Like
So fast forward to that mirror moment I mentioned earlier. After feeling down about it for a few months, I finally decided to do something, but I didn’t want to go back to the full face of makeup either.
I found the smallest version of effort that still felt like me. Face powder, mascara, eyeliner, blush, and bronzer, literally less than five minutes. I also got out of the sweats, leggings and oversized clothes and started putting my style back together.
Honestly the shift in how I felt was almost immediate.
And here’s the part I don’t love saying but I think it’s true, people treat you differently based on how you look. I’m not talking about beauty necessarily, I’m talking more about looking put together. I don’t love that this is a thing, trust me, but pretending it isn’t just doesn’t help anyone.
Adding Play Back Into My Life
The second thing I brought back in was play, just actual fun, not appearance related at all. Last year that looked like rollerblading. This year it’s swimming, whatever pool I can get to.
It sounds so simple, but it’s brought this fun, safe, grounded energy back into my week that I didn’t even realize I was missing.
How to Become More Magnetic…It’s a frequency
Here’s the part that matters most though. Magnetism isn’t actually coming from the makeup or the clothes or the swimming. Those are just doorways into it.
**What actually makes you magnetic is how you feel when you’re doing those things.**
When you feel good, when you feel powerful, like the version of yourself you’re proud of, people just pick up on that. You’re emitting it and that’s embodiment.
So ask yourself, what are the things that make you feel like a badass? What lights you up, what grounds you, what reminds you of who you actually are?
And then doo more of that. That’s the real work.
Where This Gets Interesting
Here’s the thing I’ve noticed though. Knowing this and actually living it are two completely different things. You can know that feeling good makes you magnetic and still find yourself stuck, still doing the thing that keeps you small, still avoiding the thing that would actually light you up.
That gap between knowing and doing is exactly what The Embodied Shift Method was built for. If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t just think your way into feeling magnetic, there’s a reason for that, and it’s not about willpower.
Your Next Step
Magnetism isn’t something you chase. It’s something you return to. Start with one small thing this week that makes you feel like yourself again, whether that’s five minutes of getting ready or an hour of something playful you’ve been putting off.
And if you want a simple daily practice to help you come back to that feeling more consistently, The Daily Shift is a free resource I made for exactly this.
To your next shift,
Haley
